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One Day at a Time

By Ashley Maxwell

I’m usually the type of person who likes to have everything planned out so that I can “feel” like I have a handle on what’s going on.  So, when things in my life were revealing just how little “control” I had, Matthew 6:34 became an everyday mantra.  “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”  How could I NOT worry when I felt like my world was turning upside down? I always wanted children and told myself that a family of four would be the perfect scenario. Little did I know, God had different plans for my life. When I already had one small child and found out I was pregnant with twins, I was in a complete state of shock and disbelief.  This was not the vision I had for my family dynamic, and I struggled with accepting what was happening. During the pregnancy I felt scared and very insecure. I doubted my ability to be a good mother to three young children, while still learning how to be a wife, and I resisted God’s plan. There were so many questions running through my head every day.  But with every fear and question, God had a response.I asked: I don’t understand…why me?God respondedProverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.I asked: How can I do this? I don’t think I can do this –God responded2 Corinthians 3:5 Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.When I was put on bed rest, I was forced to sit still with my thoughts. This not only showed me that I needed to let go, but it showed me how much God really wanted to take care of me during this time of change. During these last two years as a mother to now three beautiful young girls, I have seen Philippians 4:19 played out firsthand.: And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.God has LITERALLY provided for all of my needs, whether it was figuring out how to pay for daycare or providing support and community so that I could still have date night with my husband.  I was able to move through my doubts and feelings of inadequacy, and let God move me forward  to a state of TOTAL reliance on him.When plagued with those feelings of inadequacy, ask yourself:Am I relying on God’s strength or my own?Am I bringing my fears to God in prayer?But what does God say about me? God’s promises will always be true and available to all of us as we strive to move FORWARD for HIM!